I'm on sabbatical - get over it.

Vibrations, in the untraditional sense

Click the above image to interact with Je Joue

When I come across products such as these, it makes me wish I could have the female anatomy just for a 24 hour trial period. Je Joue, the newest revolution in sensual products (umm, dildos specifically) is a programmable vibrator that is customizable to your mood. Unlike the traditional dildo which consists of several speeds and setting, Je Joue "quivers, glides and swirls" according to its Groove." Grooves are created by you on your computer, then downloaded via Mac or PC USB. In fact, if a Groove is THAT amazing, it can be emailed or shared on the online Groove Community!

The range of motion includes up and down, side to side and round and round. The pleasure pad might pulse, vibrate, press, pull back, turn, pause. If you like what it's doing and you want more, you can adjust the intensity or speed with a press of a button. My favorite feature: To make sure it keeps doing what it's doing, press and hold the "don't stop" button.

Don't stop, get it, get it...
www.jejoue.com

My Girlfriend Google, I Heart You.

OMG I'm about to blow a load. Dubbed CL2 (most likely Calendar Web 2.0), Google is actually working on a calendar service that will be integrated with Gmail. I'm hoping the features integrate some of Yahoo Calendar features with Web 2.0 and Ajax. In anycase, someone leaked, and this:

Check out techcrunch.com for more info.

I came across this picture with the subtitle, Man vs. Nature. LOVE IT!

Happy Birthday

From its inception, we've watched The Passing Lane grow from its baby steps as a 5 page site to a global contraption containing...well, a whole lot of nothing. While most would dub it an Anniversary Celebration, TPL is greedy, selfish, and loves attention. Therefore, for its 2nd Birthday TPL not only expects cards, comments, and lots of presents (as noted in the Gift Registry), but also has a celebratory gift for you! Check out TPL Wear for the special Birthday offer!

TPL wants to thank YOU for all the love this past year and looks forward to another year of hypercritical and demeaning drunklosophy.

TPL Purpose (abridged):
The Passing Lane, is the basis of your life. In The Passing Lane you take risks where the outcome is unknown. You may move ahead only to find yourself two steps back. The Passing Lane is fast paced; scary yet satisfying. The Passing Lane is where you live on the edge. The Passing Lane is where you’re focused on your destination. The Passing Lane will get you there faster.

Halle's toothbrush dildo

Halle Berry endorsing Oral-B Pulsar toothbrushes might not be such a surprise after all....

One month ago, I let mommy take me on a Costco shopping spree. Along with the Pad Thai Ready in Minutes 10-Pack, Jumbo size Shampoo and Super size Trojans (just kidding!), I grabbed an Oral-B Pulsar 4-Pack of toothbrushes. What I found so fascinating about these toothbrushes, we're that they were plastic, vibrating, and disposable! I figured, what the heck: for $25 I can afford to have nice, healthy, pretty, shiny teeth. WRONG! The freakin battery crapped out on me only 4 weeks after use. While the box says replace brush after 2 months, my battery crapped out on me only 4 weeks after use!

With tax, it comes out to almost $7/each. THATS AN EXPENSIVE FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH that doesn't work!!

It’s like buying a dildo with a 4 week expiration on it. Ok, bad analogy. BUT STILL! Maybe Halle can make use of one to get her through her next love scandal.

Errrr. (a little bitter).

Elephants and Peanuts

In a highly unsober moment, my roommate and I seriously pondered whether elephants eat peanuts. We remember Dumbo had, and I'm almost positive amidst Babar's royalty regale, he was poppin the nuts on the side. But then again, you never see Discovery Channel safari video footage of African elephants finding peanuts in the coastal plains of Africa. We took to Google to solve our mystery. Answer: Elephants are herbivores, and eat grass, foliage, fruit, branches, and twigs. I swear, we're not always this bright.

Nutri-Grain Pastry

I made a revolutionary discovery today. It is the self-made Nutri-Grain pastry.

While rushing to class this morning, I slipped my Blueberry Nutri-Grain into my back pocket thinking i will move it into my backpack before sitting on and smushing my bar. Of course, 5 hours later and over a dozen times of sitting up and down, I remembered of the yummy treat stuck to my bum.

Now the phenomena: the warm pressure causes the grains to break down and diffuse with the blueberry jam, thus creating a blueberry-like pastry. AND if the timing is just right, the Blueberry Nutri-Grain might have a hint of warmth, as if freshly baked. Its DELICIOUS! I’m patenting this shit...

Studying like its 1973

I'm pathetic. I have placed my studies and social life ahead of my personal needs and care. I am scraping for food (down to my last Chicken of the Sea and Whole Wheat Pasta) and borrowing toilet rolls from my roommates. GROCERY SHOPPING TONIGHT!..that shouldn't be a problem considering my lack of Valentines commitments. Ugh, it’s wonderful. Sort of. Errr.

In studying for my Management and Policy exam, I resorted to the traditional methodology of teaching: School House Rock - I'm Just a Bill. Since legal diction is right up my alley, NOT, the judicial procedure for passing a bill was much better absorbed through downloading the cutely animated jam. We'll find out its benefit soon enough...

Adderralled out and fidgety…gym.

Smooth Rider Phone Number

I cannot recount the valuable class time I've actually spent staring at my cell phone, trying to decipher possible mnemonic combinations to my various phone numbers. Phonespell.org actually figured it out in 1.836 seconds (so my browser tells me) the following:
be-anti-9
be-a-mug-9
beam-thy
adam-viz

I have yet to exchange numbers in a social setting with "hey baby, call me, just dial BEAM-THY." Hot. Be a dork too. See what your phone number spells at Phonespell.org.

Thumb Thing

If only Thumb Thing was around in grade school, perhaps I would have actually gotten through The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Catcher In The Rye. INGENIOUS I TELL YOU!

Prom Dress

I wish my prom date wore this.

-Complimentary of Pooky

Holisitic Medicine and Hair

Last night I broke my "2 week Alcohol Free" campaign. According to the long held Malish(kevich) Family tradition, 2 shots of pure vodka + a good nights rest = Cold/Sniffles/Sneezing free. Times have a changed, however I swear by 3 Shots, a heavy regiment of Vitamin C, Echinacea and Water, and you'll be back bar-hoppin in no time. Well 24 hours later and I'm...well...better. Let's see what 48 hours does.


Today I spent the most EVER on a hair-do. We'll just say it was in the high $20's. And I'm...coping. It's a lil drastic...this off centered faux-hawk look. I called it gay. Roommate called it stylish and hip. I'll meet her some where in the middle.

Mission Spring Break 06

Mission Spring Break 06 is in full effect. With exactly two months to trim down the waste line and bulk up the bicept, pressure is on to make a stunning appearance for the Miami/Key West crowd. Since booking flight and Key West arrangement (FREE MIAMI ACCOMODATIONS COURTESY OF MS. POOKY HERSELF!!), there has been an unmistakable effort to look like this:
...And for good reason. After all, how many more Spring Breaks will I get to induce myself into a severe level of dehydration for an entire week, spend 11 days relentlessly creating skin cancer, all while spending every morning deciphering the previous nights activities and the random I woke up next to. Ahhh yes, the perils of college Spring Break. Thank god for health insurance...and coronas, martinis and sex on the beach, literally.

Piss Yourself, It Heals!

Nearly two weeks later, the hand is healing quite nicely. With the exception of minor itching from dry skin and an interesting aroma (mix between salt vinegar chips and mint), the tissue is recovering without any signs of infection. UnFortunetly I’m no longer in a state of delusion and narcolepsy from popping Vicadin. And playing Dr. is fun too! I get to debris, clean, moisturize, coat, and gauze daily! (I pity anyone who has to do such a thing).

So get this: according to “natural healers,” urinating on a burn immediately after the incident and throughout the treatment process helps promote quicker healing. I found this to be ludicrous – however after doing extensive research, it makes sense! Urine contains an abundant amount of vitamin and minerals, mostly excess of what the body did not need to metabolize. The common misconception is that urine is waste, however the majority of urine is simply “an excess” of products the body is already sufficiently supplied with. Still, I prefer the more hygienic form of treatment found at the ICU Burn Center, but if you ever find yourself in BFE with no first aid in sight: piss yourself.